Been Awhile!

I had no idea it had been so long since I put anything on here. I've composed some things but deleted them as inappropriate and trust me they were the inappropriate ravings of a middle aged lunatic!!


I need to drop in and just express some random thoughts today; it's kind of bubbling up inside and needs an outlet so here goes!


FAMILY
I am so grateful for the chosen and biological family that I call mine own. They prop me up [sometimes they don't even know they did it!] and drag me up short as needed.

MY DAUGHTERS
I have the best 2 daughters ANYONE could ask for ever in a million years! As those of you who know me well, I am so exceedingly proud of my kids I could just bust wide open! They are both smart, gracious and loving young women who are both successful in their chosen professions. Yes, you could say this is one proud mom!

ODE TO LONG TIME FAMILY FRIENDS
Extended / chosen family can be just as close as blood relatives. Case in point: My dad's mom lived in West U on Ruskin street during my childhood and across and down the street was a woman who's family owned a downtown photography studio. Aunt Tere and in later years her son, Manual, took pictures of most all of the family at one time or another. There is a picture of me, my first Christmas and I am about 5 weeks old, at my grandmother's house with my Mom and Dad. That was the first of many pictures she and her son took of me in my lifetime all the way up to my wedding pictures.

This lady was like another aunt/grandmother/mentor to me as a child, teen and young adult. The funny thing is, my most poignant memory is one that occurred when I was about 4 or 5 years old. Every Sunday my dad would pick up Nana and Aunt Tere and we would all go to Mass together. Being the 'chatterbox' that I was, I would talk incessantly [well, that's what the adults said anyway!] and I had a particularly bad habit of starting each sentence with......Nana, You know what? or Aunt Tere, You know what? So, one Sunday, they had enough and told me I would get a nickle to spend at the drugstore soda fountain on the way home, which by the way was just enough to buy a single dip chocolate ice cream cone. I sat there in the back seat and bit my lip.......and fidgeted......and started to say something....stopped.....and I did this all the way to the Church. After Mass, I got my reward and promptly got into the car, after claiming my ice cream reward and started the conversation with......Nana, You know what? Funny that I can still remember them laughing until they cried to this day.

CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY TRADITIONS - OLD AND NEW
As the Christmas holiday approaches and we embark a new memories and new or different traditions, I am reminded of all those long past times when we would gather at my grandmother's house on Christmas Eve. I hope this year will be the beginning of some new traditions that will incorporate some of the old ideas with my own kids. With mom and dad both gone and the 4 of us going in different directions, it's hard to let go of the old traditions. I keep thinking that change can be a good thing sometimes and this will be the start of different memories and different traditions, not bad, just different.

I won't be putting up a full size tree this year; it's just me, Bubba and my little dog so the small tree with the mini-ornaments will be fine. I don't miss having a full size tree; I always hated putting it up and decorating it alone the years I've done that so I won't miss it at all. What I will miss is having everyone wake up under the same roof Christmas morning. We will all get together at one place mid morning but it's just not the same. New memories, new traditions to look back on in the future.

PROMISE TO MYSELF
I will try to get here more often. I feel centered and calm when I can put my random thoughts on 'paper'. I just wish I was a better writer! With the ending of my contract at NASA, I will need this blog to keep calm and centered. So far I'm there but I have a feeling I won't always be this serene about losing my job for the last 12+ years. So, my promise is to stop by more than every 5 months :-) and to keep breathing deeply and letting it out slowly!!