Another chapter....turn the page

Today – February 29^th, is the last day of the ODIN contract between NASA and Lockheed Martin; this much is true.

For me this contract started in early November 1999 and ended February 2012. If I tell you it’s like a death in the family, does that make any sense at all? The grief is real and palpable.

I was a teacher technologist in Houston Independent School District [HISD] in 1999 and someone told me to look at the job postings in the online Houston Chronicle – there was a job that had My Name written all over it; so I applied in March 1999. Sometime in late September of that year, I got a call to come down to Clear Lake for a face-to-face interview and I got the job for a Tech Trainer that was versed in MS Office had PC hardware and software background and MS FrontPage experience.

Here I am, 12 years later; my kids have moved from high school to college to medical school and a surgical residency…….college to working political fundraisers and an HR Professional; I picked up a MS in Instructional Design and a Lean Six Sigma Black Belt and the stuff I achieve doesn’t mean a damned thing to anyone but me. Go Figure!

My kids have become productive young women and I am so very proud of their achievements. I never imagined that I would become a causality of this contract change over; I always thought I had developed a wide repertoire of skills and knowledge that would be valued on the follow on contract and I would be employed.

Sadly, that is not the case tonight. I am among the many millions of unemployed in our great nation. In one sense, it is very liberating to know I do NOT have to wake at 5:30 am to begin my day; rather, I can begin my day when either I wake up OR my dog wakes me to go out. On the other hand, I feel like a piece of drift wood cast upon the waves to wander the coastline.

I also feel like I am mourning a death in the family. I knew the patient was terminally ill for some time; the doctor had pronounced the terminal diagnosis some time ago. I have been preparing myself for the inevitable demise of the patient but there is nothing in my previous life experience to prepare me for the devastation I feel tonight. The terminal patient was pronounced dead at the close of business February 29, 2012. The wake/funeral was attended by so few as to make one wonder; did anyone else feel the devastation and loss I felt today? Why am I the only one? OR did everyone else just take the loss in stride and move on?

So, I will grieve in my own way; I will figure out how to move on and I will survive. That which does not destroy me make me stronger; I know this. But for tonight, I grieve.

I grieve for the companionship I will miss each day; I grieve for the friends that will fade away for lack of nourishment and I grieve for my losses.

Tomorrow, I will regroup and do the things I need to do to survive and move forward. The true friendships I’ve made the last 12+ years will survive. The rest will be distant memories to be revived when several are gathered to reminisce. So, to those who choose to nurture our friendship, I am honored! To those who do not, I grieve for what could not be because you made that decision but everything in its place and for a reason.

Like the phoenix rising from the ashes, I will return stronger and better for the experiences of having worked at NASA for 12+ years and for the support of all of the people I’ve met and whose lives have touched mine.

THANKS for the memories, JSC!!!!!